Monday, April 19, 2010

What I Learned From: Cry For Justice

Hey everyone, welcome back to my Red Hood. Oh yeah, I said it. Jason Todd here with another edition of my crowd pleasing, award winning, bone chilling, life changing, over exaggerating column, "What I Learned From..." Last time I tackled the Blackest Night with a bunch of things I learned from that DC Universe changing event, this time I'm going to tell you guys what I learned from Cry for Justice, an event that apparently took place prior to Blackest Night. But first, I just wanna say,

~The following are the views of the Jason Todd Comic Spot, they are in no way, shape or form considered to be coherent in any language or to any race or creed of people. Without any more stalling, I present to you What I learned from Cry For Justice.~

Gorilla Grodd, Sinestro, Lex Luthor, Poison Ivy, Bizarro, Captain Cold and The Joker all appear on the first issue covers yet make no appearance in any of the books at all. Talk about marketing...

Hal Jordan was pissed and wanted to get "Justice" on Libra, Oliver sided with him. Later, Oliver gets Justice on  Prometheus, and Hal decides to hunt down Ollie and try to turn him in. What a friend.

Killer Moth is bald even though he's usually a red headed dude...

Going in someone's nose as a microscopic man then coming out fully grown, apparently you won't have any snot or anything like that on you some how.

Congorilla is the worst name ever. I mean ever. I mean damn couldn't they at least have used B'wana Beast instead of Congorilla?

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #1 a total of 11 times not including the title.

Hal Jordan apparently had a little alone time with The Huntress and Lady Blackhawk, no wonder they call him Highball Hal.

Big Talking Gorilla's and Blue guys with red hair often try to kill each other before becoming bestest friends.

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #2 a total of 5 times not including the title, 6 if you count two people saying it with one word bubble.

Supergirl cries from being asked if she's a good guy or a bad guy, because Kryptonian's have skin like steel but their feelings are easily ripped through like warm butter. Well we had the Justice, so there's the crying.

Insulting Prometheus and telling him he's lower than a B-List villain is really gonna come back and bite you in your ass, eh Green Arrow?

Jumping out of an airplane, when you're an 8-foot tall, 900-pound Gorilla, may not be the smartest idea ever.

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #3 a total of 4 times not including the title. Someone was holding back.

The Atom asking everyone if they've had sinus headache's get's old, VERY quickly. Just shut up and jump in their head already. You don't need a catchphrase. There's not gonna be any "Have you ever had a sinus headache" shirts and headbands popping up anytime soon.

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #4 a total of 1 time not including the title. Maybe we're done with it, hopefully we are.

They allude to Roy losing his arm by showing him touch Green Arrow and gesturing with that hand. Also, him losing it, definitely sucked, but the fact that he said "I can't feel my fingers." was unintentionally or intentionally hilarious.

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #5 a total of 6 times not including the title. They tricked me, the bastards, I let my guard down and they went JUSTICE CRAZY!!!!

Prometheus using Sinus headache on Palmer made my day, I wish he wasn't dead just for that reason.

Prometheus may just be the Batman or the villains the way he owned everyone, hell, even Deathstroke didn't do that.

Green Arrow alludes to killing Prometheus two issues before he does it, so the moral of the story, if someone says "You're lucky I'm not/didn't" then they are going to do it.

Donna Troy, should be in the UFC because she beat the holy hell out of Prometheus. I mean really, Brock Lesnar better watch out for Donna Troy.

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #6 a total of  0 times not including the title. WHAT?! I'm shocked, there was alot of action though so there was no time for Justice.

Ollie killed Prometheus and said Justice. Because that's what I'd say if my granddaughter was killed and my son was maimed. Come on Ollie, at least spruce it up. "Justice Bee-yatch!"  Or something along those lines.

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice #7 a total of 1 time not including the title. And Prometheus feels that it was one too many.

So, seven issue's later, Roy's maimed, Lian's dead, Ollie's a criminal, Hal is gonna hunt his good buddy, the only person who sided with him, Prometheus is dead, and oh, there was Justice apparently. I also think Mikail and Congorilla are dating or something. Oh and for those wondering,

The word Justice appears in Cry For Justice a total of 22 times not including the title, which is sad considering 11 were in the first issue.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have 7 comics to go burn. :-) Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this edition of What I Learned From: Cry for Justice. Like I said in Ratings and Rantings, this week is a small pull so expect some other reviews popping up and as always comments are appreciated. Until then, you've just been Gobsmacked!

- Jason Todd


  1. Props on actually counting all the time the word "justice" was used...that must've taken some time. Despite (or, more likely, because of) all the horrible things people have said about this series, I feel like I'm going to end up reading this someday, and I'm not sure how to feel about that.

  2. Lol wonderful. I'm so looking forward to the next one. These things you have learned are freaking hilarious. And I would've beeb upset not seeing any of the villains in the actual comic.

    Once again fine job sir. I can't wait until the next one. Any ideas of what you're going to do next?

  3. Personally, I'm pulling for "What I Learned from all those awesome Silver Age comics Marc told me to read" for the next one. ;)

    But in all seriousness I think it'd be great to see a movie or trade review this week since you're not going to be getting many new comics.

  4. Actually Marc, considering I'd only read the first and last issues it was like reading it brand new so I just marked down every time I saw the word justice, little did I know it'd be 11 in just the first issue!

    And "What I Learned from all those awesome Silver Age comics Marc told me to read" would be awesome, I may have to do that one lol. And it's funny you say that because I'm gonna review Spiderman Noir and GL Recharge this week too. I may even do another DC Animated movie.

    Lol thanks Falisha, I saw the cover and was like, why the hell are Lex and Joker here?! Their not even IN the comic at all. And I don't know what I'll do a what I learned from, next, has to be something I can make fun of :D

  5. I hate being disappointed so Kudos to you for even reading, I know how much you love the Joker.

    And I'm with Marc, I think a movie review is way past due. :)

  6. Huh, I didn't even realize the cover/lack of villains thing... What's that all about?

    The fact that you actually counted each and every "Justice!!!" is really pretty awesome. I wish I had thought of that... I will say this JT, IF DC ever did decide to put out a "Have you ever had a sinus headache" t-shirt, I'd buy 5! Hell, I should go to one of those make your own t-shirt sites and get it made just for kicks! So I've got to know, now that you've read the entire awful thing, on a scale of 0-10, what would you rate this mini?

  7. Lol man, I wouldn't even have noticed but I looked and I'm like one ever mentioned Joker doing anything when we discussed this. Or Lex...or Ivy...or Grodd....

    Lol I remembered reading that first issue and every other word was Justice, so I'm like, alright I'm counting these! And The Only way I'd buy that shirt is if they had Prometheus on it. I don't get the point of building him up as a monster that can DESTROY the league, then killing him. Honestly, I'd give it 3-4 X, It was very bad but some parts like Prometheus beating up everyone, and Donna beating him senseless were awesome.

  8. You know, that's a great point. Why bother putting so much effort into making Prometheus into an unstoppable force and then cutting him down so easily. He should have at least stuck around long enough to pop up in the JLA series a few times. And yeah, Donna's Amazon rampage was prob the highlight of the entire mini for me. I should go back and take an average of the entire mini-series. I'd bet I'd probably average out at about a 4 or so.

  9. See, Falisha asked me and I told her a 4, the twin powers are back! Form of, a handsome guy...oh wait, already got that.

    Lol anyway yeah it just seemed backwards, it's like you make him into this HUGE threat and cut him down. Imagine if they paired him up with like Luthor or Deathstroke. That'd be amazing.

  10. Well they did team Prometheus and Hush up back when Prometheus sucked and Hush was like 6'6 and 280 lbs of pure muscle... It would have been interesting to see the normal versions of those characters have a team-up. Man, imagine Deathstroke and Prometheus on a team... They'd be UNSTOPPABLE!

  11. Ah crap I forgot about that! That was a horrible arc, it was in Hush returns right? I deleted that from my memory banks. And yeah if those two teamed up no one could stop them. You'd need like Three Batmen, Supes and GL.

  12. I wish I could forget that monstrosity! Yeah, I think it was called Hush Returns, and EVERYTHING about it was wrong, from Hush, to Prometheus to even the Joker! Ugh, that was truly awful!

    "Three Batmen, Supes and GL." HA! You know the three Batmen would never trust each other and would constantly be at each others throats!

  13. Yeah that crap was horrible, I ended up trading that for some other comics if I recall correctly.

    Lol true, it's funny how he doesn't even trust himself. I can imagine them having a hell of a fight, I'd pay to see that.