Friday, December 3, 2010

Ratings and Rantings

Hey everybody! Hey Dr. Nick! Oh wait, wrong thing. Hey everyone, JT here with another weekly dose of comic content comments with my favorite and only weekly feature, Ratings and Rantings! This week we've got a short list of comics with only Brightest Day #15, Shadowland #5 and Batman: Orphans being subbed in for Batman 80 page Giant since I didn't have enough money at the comic shop. Ah well, I'll get to it eventually. Anyway, this post will also include the surprising results for last weeks poll along with a new poll posted this Sunday, and the topics for this weeks Top Five 5!So, without further adieu, let's get into it with Brightest Day. *groan*

Brightest Day #15

This issue starts out with everyone looking old, I guess 25 years older according to Batman, on Mars, surrounded by Martians, with the JLA talking up Martian Manhunter, saying how great he is. An old Hal that looks like Hal looked about twenty years ago (irony, eh?) even calls Martian Manhunter "my favorite martian" (ha ha ha /sarcasm/) Anyway, we then find out that J'onn, who is already powerful enough on his own, and as strong, if not stronger than Superman, is now Hal's sector partner in the Green Lanterns. So... did you guys kill off Guy, John and Kyle? I'm not even gonna talk about how asinine it would be to give MM a Green Lantern ring. From there we see a big love fest and everyone talking about death, and I should mention the art is horrendous compared to the usual art. In one scene Bruce Wayne looks like freaking Marlon Brando. You know what? Matter of fact I'm gonna have Falisha photoshop a pic of the two next to each other so you can SEE what I mean. Anyway, after everyone being horribly drawn shares their emotions, they leave and J'onn goes home with his "wife." He then feeds his dog some Oreos even though that stuff would kill a dog, I guess the dog realizes J'onn is trying to secretly assassinate it so it bites him. J'onn is shocked the dog bit him and walks off with his wife. J'onn then finds out someone has killed Batman with pearl bullets... lmao. That may have been the dumbest thing I've ever typed. Anyway, J'onn goes to warn everyone since if Batman was killed they are all fair game. Okay... I get that Bats is powerful and stuff, but just because he gets killed with pearl bullets, how does that put Wonder Woman, Supes and the rest in jeopardy? We then find out someone has hanged (hung?) WW with her lasso, buries Aquaman in the desert.... and cut of Flash's head while he runs around. Lmao, X is gonna love that. Oh, and someone cut off Hal's ring hand and he died in space. Okay.... God this comic sucks. J'onn then reads all the Martian's minds to find Superman... and he finds him underground with a Kryptonite mask. The remove the mask and find that Supes is still alive. Okay wait, if you can read everyone's mind to see where he is... and FIND him... then shouldn't you know who put him there?! Anyway, J'onn helps Kal get revived by the sun, and he tells Superman what happened then takes him to the dead JLA members corpses. Martian Mahunter then talks to Superman about how he was lucky he didn't have to see Krypton die like he saw Mars die. They talk more about being the last of their kinds then J'onn stabs superman in the neck with a big pointy slab of Kryptonite. Where the hell did that come from? Superman says "Wake Up" as he dies, then J'onn looks afraid wondering why he killed Superman. He flees and Mars is on fire with all the Martians saying "Wake Up!" J'onn heads home and attacks his "wife" and snaps out of his dream induced world to find that all the Martians were just their skeletons. You gotta be kidding me... we then jump over to freaking CONGORILLA?! Okay, I'm done. This was the second to last page and I was gonna give this a one but now it gets "the big ol fail award!" This comic gets a N/A.

JT: Wait... so Marlon Brando is Batman?

Batman: Orphans #1 of 2

Batman: Orphans has a pretty interesting synopsis which you can read here. Anywho, this issue starts off with Robin, laid out in the rain with arrows sticking out of his chest, courtesy of Merlyn. We're introduced to our narrator, female reporter Samantha Locke, along with her photographer, Sam Jackson, who quotes Samuel L. Jackson's movie quotes all the time. I like this guy already. They try to take pictures of the grisly scene and we soon see the newspaper headline "DEAD ROBIN!" We see a nerdy, glasses wearing Timothy Drake and the always cool Dick Grayson, as they discuss how someone impersonating Robin was killed. From there we see a Hispanic woman leave her home and get mugged before a young Hispanic teenage boy jumps in to help her, he dispatches of her would-be robbers and tries to return her purse, but the lady runs off. Our young hero turns around to see a shrouded figure resembling Batman, telling the boy to come with him. From there we see our Dynamic Duo of reporting try to get into the morgue to inspect the dead "Robin", but they're turned away by the guard. Nightwing (Man I miss that costume) and Robin show up soon after to inspect the body as well. They talk to the coroner who tells them about the alleged Robin before he unmasks and we find out the coroner is actually Batman. How'd he fit Bat ears, a mask and a cape under that? Anyway, we then see our young Hispanic Hero in the sewers with the man he believes to be The Dark Knight. The fake Batman asks the young man if he's ready to do good, before introducing him to "The Bat-Grotto" which is actually an underground city from No Man's Land that was built over by LexCorp. The Faux-Bats drops the young hero into the Lion's Den so to speak with other wanna-be heroes who attack him to test him. When the young hero prevails for the most part, but is soon taken down by another young hero by the name of Lance. I guess he does enough to impress the Faux-Batman, and Lance is the next to claim the Robin costume. Next up we see Lance and another Robin hopeful, a young woman named Monica making out and maybe more. After his session with Monica, the newest Boy Wonder springs into action. We finally find out your young Hispanic Hero's name is Francisco when one of the other teenage wanna-be's shoots up with some Venom. He offers it to Francisco who turns it down, but he takes down Francisco and injects him with some Venom for his own good. Interesting twist this is. The young heroes head to see Batman who scolds them for showing up so late after the alarm sounded. Back at the true Batcave, Bruce, Dick and Tim are trying to find out information on the missing kids. When Dick mentions how great Samantha Locke has been at digging up information, Bruce decides to see what she knows by running into her at a big movie premiere. Back with Samantha Locke and Sam Jackson, they try to get into the movie premiere but can't, until they're requested by Bruce Wayne, well make that just Samantha. Back at the Batcave, Tim and Dick try to find a motive for the dead Robin and the missing kids, counting out Joker, Riddler and more of their more popular rogues. We then see the young team of wanna-be heroes, and as we see each one we also see an article write-up of each of them. Each of them have pretty grim backgrounds, all with the similarity of running away. The kids confront someone and show unbridled aggression in taking him down and even kill their enemy. Back in the Batcave, Tim and Dick relive attacks and bad memories of attacks by The Joker, Killer Croc and other rogues. After a very trippy moment, Dick figured out that the Robin costume has Scarecrow Toxin on it and shoots both himself and Tim with the antidote. The issue ends soon after with Bruce Wayne, in Crime Alley with the Scarecrow Toxin taking effect. All in all this is a very interesting story, I really like the potential, and the fact it's only two issues makes me think a lot will be left out but hopefully it maintains momentum. I did enjoy the first issue a lot, which is funny since the Bat-Family members were barely in the first part. It did seem to drop in quality near the end but for the most part I enjoyed it, I'll give this issue an 7/10.

Batman: Oh, we're taking the National Whisper as a reliable source? Does it mention that they were taken by aliens?
Nightwing: I wouldn't diss aliens. Some of them have Super-Hearing, y'know.

Shadowland #5

The final issue of Shadowland kicks things off with the residents of Hell's Kitchen, fighting against the SWAT Team that's trying to subdue them. Back with Daredevil, he's demolished the entire Avengers team from the last issue, and as Ghost Rider shows up to bring him the fight he ends up eating a HUGE super-kick from Daredevil. Ghost Rider tries to fight back but his attacks are pretty ineffective against the super-powered, evil Daredevil. He even sucks out all of Ghost Rider's Hell-Fire, leaving a very tired skull-headed Biker. From there White Tiger finds Foggy Nelson in Daredevil's lair, she plans on slitting his neck in front of Daredevil but DD decides he wants to kill Foggy himself. Foggy pulls the old "I know this isn't you" thing that everyone has used for this entire series but for some reason it works here. Iron Fist takes advantage of the distraction and BLASTS Daredevil in the chest. He uses his chi to heal okay then. We see inside Matt's mind as he's a child again, in a dark room, and he tries to call out to his parents but both abandon him. He's then met by Elektra in his mind, and she tries to instill some hope in The Man Without Fear, then gives him a sword, and Matt commits suicide for some reason. Alright then.... that was very anti-climactic. The angry Hell's Kitchen dwellers snap out of their rage and start hugging and making up. Yeah... alright then. As all the heroes regain consciousness, Foggy realizes that Matt is missing. We then Elektra sneaking away to a secret passage and is holding Daredevil's mask. We then see Kingpin show up to claim The Hand, saying he's now the rightful leader, and showing that Typhoid Mary was working for him all along as well. This issue was pretty... something. It was so far off from the awesomeness that was this mini-series. I mean... Ghost Rider was there for NOTHING. He showed up, got kicked in the face and that was it. Unnecessary, like most appearances in this comic. I'll give this issue a 5/10, and the entire mini would probably get a 7/10.

Ghost Rider: What in the name of Hades' Mercedes?

Well that's all for this week from me guys. Hope you enjoyed this weeks short review. As always, comments are appreciated. And this week's Top Five 5 will be going up on Sunday evening so make sure you send your picks to me before then at . The topics are below. After that are the results for last week's poll and be sure to vote on the newest poll which will be up this Sunday with the Top Five 5. Until next time, I'm your friendly neighborhood Blogger-Man, Jason Todd!

Top Five X-Men
Top Five Robots/Cyborgs
Top Five Spider-Man Characters (Not including Spidey)
Top Five books that seem like they should have been cancelled a long time ago…
Top Five Comic Writers of The Year

Last Week's Poll asked "Which Hero should've been added to the Young Justice Cartoon series?"

Third Place with 18.2% - Tie between Ravager and Static
Second Place with 27.3% - Blue Beetle (Shocking.)
Winner with 36.4% - Wonder Girl, well she was an original!

Next Time on Ratings and Rantings

Batgirl #16, JL Gen Lost #15, Red Robin #18, Shadowland After Fall, What If Wolverine Father


  1. Nice reviews, JT! I'm sorry Brightest Day continues to suck, and don't blame you for slapping it with the infamous "N/A" rating, haha. And I agree, that art is horrendous. Who is the "artist" for this comic??

    I can't say I'm at all surprised with Shadowland ending sounds like you felt the way about the last issue that I felt about the earlier issues that I read. Sheer's such a shame that they've misused these characters the way they have. Ghost Rider is a really cool character when he's written well, and not just thrown in because the writer thinks it's cool for him to show up in a cameo.

  2. Great reviews dude. I gotta say I'm loving Brightest Day, especially the Firestorm and Aquaman bits. It's weird how two people can read the same comic and get a completely polar opposite reaction from it. Although I will agree the art was a bit poo on issue #15.

    I've sent my top 5s. Hope they got through ok. I was a bit late last time and I think I just missed the deadline.

    Also, while I haven't been following JLA as it currently seems a bit lacklustre, Congorilla is awesome and I will defend him with my life! :)

  3. Hey JT, I can't really comment on anything here since I wound up staying up way too late last night(for some reason...)and as such didn't read any new stuff.

    With that said, these scores aren't exactly filling me with a sense of confidence! I will say this though, seeing that NA made me smile, and actually got me really excited to read BD, just to see how thoroughly I can bury it, because I think we both know, I WILL be burying it! I was kind of sad to see Orphans not score higher, because it really does sound like an interesting story, and Shadowland... I guess I'm not totally surprised with that score. The story has kind of backed itself into a corner, and I can only see it ending one way. I'll make sure to read those three books tonight so I can add something more substantial here, and I'll be getting to work on that Top 5 as of......... now!

  4. Thanks guys for the comments, and I have received all three of your Top 5's as well as Kello's so far.

    Marc, the artists for Brightest Day 15 were "Art by IVAN REIS, PAT GLEASON, ARDIAN SYAF, SCOTT CLARK and JOE PRADO" according to the DC Blog... I can't picture Ivan Reis drawing that stuff though... And yeah, Ghost Rider was literally in there for no reason other than to be buried.

    Paul, you gotta explain to me what you see in Congorilla! Lol seriously, I see no appeal in him and I like Cyclops! :P I liked the Firestorm stuff and the stuff with Aquaman first but the last few issues with them really soured me. So far the only good thing to come in Brightest Day so far was Max Lord's return and the awesomeness that is Gen Lost.

    X, I'm looking forward to seeing what you have to say once you check those out, maybe you'll post your comments at MY blog and not the other way around :P

  5. "maybe you'll post your comments at MY blog and not the other way around" Pfft, why ruin a good thing? :P Within the next 10 minutes or so I should be starting Shadowland #5, so I PROMISE to post something here tomorrow afternoon about it! Scout's honor. :$

  6. Lol. Wonderful reviewing JT. I loved the BD review the most. Can't wait to see X review it. I Just love seeing how you guys continue to read it and rip it to shreds so I don't have to! "buries Aquaman in the desert" As mean as that may sound, lmao, that sounds like the most funniest and lowdown thing anyone could do. Lmao. Aw I want to see that in a short film.

    Anyways, I picked up the Batman Orphan stuff out of curiosity, so I'm glad to see it had some good stuff going in the beginning.

    As for Shadowland, I left that alone around the beginning, kind of glad I did. seems like it's starting to head down the toilet like BD.

    As for the poll, I'm disappointed, in you all!!! Well if she would be, it should be Donna Troy as Wonder Girl. Then all will be fine. Lol.

  7. Still waiting X! :P Afternoon eh... well it is now...evening! :P

    Thanks Falisha :D Lol, you're so mean to Aquaman, ya want poor AC to get sand in his gills? And yeah, Batman Orphan starts out really good. I hope the next issue continues to be as good.

    Well thankfully that issue was the last of the main Shadowland comic so that's pretty good. And I'm disappointed as well with the poll, I expected Ravager to win to spice-up the group.

  8. Okay, so my definition of afternoon is a bit liberal! :D

    I HATED Shadowland #5! Prob a 4 1/2 or a 5 from me! What a sucky ending... I mean, with the exception of Bullseye getting killed, what exactly was accomplished?! In a word, nothin'! Total agreement on the entire series probably getting around a 7... If not for this last issue, I'd have been in the 8 range, but sheesh...

    I also read Bats: Orphans, and surprise, surprise, I hated that too! I didn't like the story being told from the reporters point of view, and her cameraman annoyed me SO much I wanted to reach through the comic and slap him! Who the hell was he, old school, movie-quoting Golddust?! I mean, I still think the story has some real possibilities(especially with the Scarecrow possibility), and I liked the art--well, except for the fact that I thought the second Robin was a girl the whole time! When he was making out with that chick in his room I TOTALLY thought that was two girls going at it! I'll be honest, if not for the reporter and the cameraman, I'd probably have enjoyed this one WAAAY more.

    I'll prob read BD tonight after the UFC card is done, so I'll have to get back to ya tomorrow with that. There ya go, I promised ya I'd get to ya and I did! Eventually...

  9. Lmao, I wouldn't do that to Aquaman lol but it was funny. And I'll have to give it a read. Since school is finishing up, looks like I'll have some more time to actually read comics before my last semester starts up.

    So what is left in the Shadowland world?

    Lmao @ X. Woo he went on a mini rant!! I forgot how much you dislike reporters X. Lol. That was nice comment.

  10. Couldn't....agree...more. Besides them killing off Bullseye, who RULED 2009 with his appearances in DP and his stuff with Daken, nothing happened this in Shadowland. Oh, and they made Ghost Rider look like a bitch.

    I didn't mind the reporter, and the Sam Jackson wanna-be was pretty annoying, at least do some lines that people LIKE guy! And yeah, I thought that was a chick first too. Then when they made out or sexed or whatever I was like... "um...okay."

    Sounds good, I await your BD rant of the century.

    Falisha, to my knowledge all they have left is the one-shot Shadowland Aftermath thing that i'll be reviewing next week and thats about it babe.

  11. Dude, the Ghost Rider thing was SO weird!!! I mean, what the hell was that all about!? He was totally treated like DD's bitch towards the end, while Iron Fist was like the huge threat... And then GR had NO input on the ending. Weird...

    Exactly... I mean the only way I even KNEW that guy was quoting movies was because of the quotes around his words. I'm SO glad I wasn't the only one who mistook that guy for a girl! I was like, "huh, that's two girls going at it," before it dawned on me. Plus, after he was done, I guess they wanted to show that he had the girl's lipstick all over his mouth, but it came across looking like blood! The kid looked like a frigging vampire or something!

    That review might have to wait a while... I have SO much HW to take care of this week... I don't know when I'm gonna be able to do reviews for the books I did read.

  12. Don't worry X, we won't be upset if you take a few days off to get your work done! Besides, if you really feel bad about it you can always make up with extra reviews later. (That's what I'm hoping to do in January.) But whenever it happens, I'll be looking forward to reading your angry thoughts!

  13. Why thank you, Marc. I look forward to posting my angry thoughts for you to read!