Brightest Day #23
We start things off with Deadman explaining what it's like to die, all the while we see various heroes saving people from natural disasters and stuff as they claim the Earth is turning against them. From there we see Deadman confronting Firestorm and asking for the Lantern. Firestorm asks where they are and Deadman tells them the only place where the world is still safe and only the chosen ones can enter, as we see people running for the safety of the forest are blocked by a barrier while Ollie screams at the forest to let them in and it says no, or the White Lantern Ring does or something. After figuring out the Lantern brought them there, it tells Ronnie that it needed information only The Anti-Monitor had and he needed to see Stein die to really embrace being Firestorm because he needs to embrace it now, since the Dark Avatar is on its way. We then see Hawk and Dove are headed towards Star City to find Deadman, FINALLY!!!! Now Boomer can throw this damn Boomerang, but I'm getting ahead of myself. The White Lantern teleports Hawk and Dove to right in front of Firestorm and Deadman, we then see Boomer arrive at the forest and he's told to throw the Boomerang at Dove. After that a giant Black Lantern sprouts up and starts breaking stuff, just.. you know... because. The Lantern won't let the heroes leave the forest so the Dark Avatar just strolls right in. Everywhere the Avatar walks it brings death, and it walks past Boomer which turns his hands black... so the White Lantern tells him to throw the Boomerangs. Meanwhile the ring makes Deadman blast Firestorm which ends up turning him into Fire. Then Fire, Water, Earth and Wind aka Firestorm, Aquaman, MARTIAN Manhunter (yet Earth...) and the Hawks come back to form Captain Planet like I predicted about two weeks ago. The four elements then go somewhere, and the White Lantern tells Dove, Hawk and Deadman to protect the White Lantern tree. Where's Green Arrow? Don't ask cause apparently no one cares. The issue ends with Earth's protector rising.... and it's Alec Holland, Swamp Thing. YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. Are you SERIOUS?! Okay, a year ago Brightest Day started after Blackest Night ended. At the time I didn't care that Reverse-Flash was brought back even though he was alive. I didn't mind that The Hawks came back even though they ALWAYS come back. I didn't mind that Ted Kord, Vic Sage, The Dibneys or anyone I really enjoyed was ignored over bringing back The Hawks, Osiris that's done nothing, Old Captain Boomerang instead of his younger, better son. But as a year goes by DC Comics slowly turns into The Power Rangers with a bunch of color-coded heroes flying around and then just completely ripped off Captain Planet, but after a YEAR of a hero being hyped up as the SAVIOR OF THE PLANET EARTH, the SAVIOR of a planet that is the home of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, FOUR GREEN LANTERNS, THREE FLASHES and countless teams, and you give me fucking SWAMP THING?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That's it, I'm officially done, I made jokes about X-Man because he stopped reading stuff with Geoff Johns but honestly I don't blame him because this is ridiculous. I already wasn't reading Flashpoint but I see I'm not going to be able to read anything Johns writes until he goes back to how he was a few years ago, because if Grant Morrison wrote this I'd be about to explode, so I'm not playing favorites. I'm done with Johns, I'm done with Green Lantern and everything he writes from this moment forward. I'll finish the last issue of Brightest Day and the rest of War of Green Lanterns but unless he writes something that's critically acclaimed and shakes the foundation of the earth, I won't be reading it. This is probably the first comic Ive ever reviewed where the rant is longer than the review, and let's make another first. The first comic I've ever finished that I'm giving a N/A rating. Congrats Brightest Day you piece of Garbage.
P.S. - Captain Boomerang STILL has yet to throw the goddamn Boomerang.... so yeah., get ready for issue 24 because THAT'S on the way!!!! (SMELL THE SARCASM!!!!!)