Ratings and Rantings featuring Uncanny X-Men #2

Hey Todd Squad, Jason Todd here once again, welcoming you outlaws to this week's edition of Ratings and Rantings! Last week's review was delayed til this week due to the holiday and the fact I only had three books last week and found out I'd only have one book this week, so I just decided to give you one post with the four reviews this week, so let's kick things off with Invincible.

Invincible #85

We start things off seeing Mark's parents on a space ship getting bizzay, if you catch my drift. We then cut over to see Allen the Alien (Wooooooooo) and his girlfriend discussing Oliver who apparently walked in on them playing a game of space invaders if you know what I'm saying. We then see a healed up, teenage version of Oliver, I hadn't even realized how much I missed the runt, who goes on a test run with his new and improved body parts. After reporting in with Allen and telling him that the Viltrumites have joined Earth and that's the agreement he and Mark had to make, Nolan retired to his chambers with Mark's mom to have an intergalactic voyage if you know what I'm saying. Man... there is a LOT of sex in this issue. After trying to take down a villain but watching the villain subdue himself to the police, Oliver is approached by his shoeless, super powered hippie father, Omni-Man, who takes him to see his mother. While the two catch up, Oliver meets with Allen and discuss what could happen with the Viltrumites living on Earth, and how that could either help or hinder things. After thinking long and hard, Allen decides he's going to send the Scourge Virus to Earth and personally deliver it, and Nolan objects since it will kill Viltrumites and Earthlings since they have similar DNA, but Allen stands by his decision and the two get ready to throw down as the issue closes. Well this comic was pretty funny, a lot more relaxed than the last few issues and the ongoing joke with Oliver hearing Allen and his girlfriend as well as his parents having sex *shudder* it was pretty enjoyable. Up until the end it was nothing amazing but far from bad, but after that great ending I can't wait to see what's next. I'd give this issue a 8.5/10 rating.

Debbie Grayson: Just because they say they're not going to cause any trouble, doesn't mean you should believe them. Your people are very good liars. (BURN!!!!)

Kick-Ass 2 #5

We kick things off with Dave going to see his dad in prison, who stands by his decision to lie for his son. He warns them that the villains know who he is and they put Katie in the hospital but Dave's dad says they can make it through this. Man...that noble dude is SO going to die. We then cut over to see The Mother Fucker working on his new lair because he's a comic mark and that's what we'd all do, and he gets a call from his uncle that works with the police telling him that he can't turn a blind eye to Chris' actions any longer, only when he was trying to help the family, and he says he'll target him like any other scumbag. We then see Dave with his friends discussing how Hit-Girl still won't come back when he gets a text message that includes a picture of his dad being hanged in prison. Poor, noble, fool. After his father is killed, The Mother Fucker released Dave's secret identity on Twitter (I knew Twitter was full of jerks... only confirms my past suspicion.) And we also see that Justice Forever is released from prison but have been banned from ever wearing their costumes. Afterward, everyone tells Dave how sorry they are and Dave says he's going to live with some cousins in Connecticut and giving this all up. He's then approached by Mindy who hopes he doesn't blame her for not helping and his dad dying but he doesn't. Suddenly, some people blow up Dave's dad's casket (holy shit!) and open fire before grabbing Dave and tossing him in a van before driving off. They attack Dave and dress him like Kick-Ass as they drive him to the Mother Fucker but suddenly two kidnappers are killed as we see Mindy on top of the van with a gun, as Hit-Girl returns. Damn this issue was brutal but SO fun to read. The outrageous of the death of Dave's dad, the stuff with Hit-Girl and the funeral, THIS is was a great comic. I'll give this issue a solid 10/10 rating.

Hit-Girl: Game on, mother-fuckers.

Uncanny X-Men #2

We start things off with the Extinction Team taking on a bunch of Mister Sinister clones, when Cyclops gets work from Agent Brand that the rest of the Celestials are heading towards Earth. When Sinister offers the X-Men a ceasefire to discuss the incoming celestials, to which Scott agrees to since it give the town more time to evacuate. Once entering Sinister's lair or palace or whatever you want to call it, we're treated the origin of Sinister, given by Sinister himself. He also says how the Celestial's will come and kill all the Earthling's for defiling the Dreaming Celestial and then the real competition starts, Sinister's species vs. the Mutants. He then uses his telepathic powers to control everyone with the exception of Emma who he takes shots at by calling her inferior to Jean but good enough to house Scott's seed. Well damn... that was hilarious. Luckily, Sinister makes the mistake of stepping into the open and gets sniped by Hope, and when he switches to another body to take control, his head is crushed by the juggernaut hands of Colossus. The issue ends with Sinister regaining control of another body and stating that he can't be killed, because he's his own species and if you're not Sinister, simply put, your time is over. This was a really good issue as well. I loved Sinister here, as well as Emma and Namor. I could've used more Magneto but it made sense why he wasn't around. I'll give this issue an 8/10 rating.

Namor: I increasingly understand the reason for the "X-Men." It's not Xavier or the X-Gene. The "X" is a target pasted on our backs. (I wanna make a joke about Namor and dry humor but instead I'll just say HA!)

Teen Titans #3

We start things off with Kid Flash trying to save what looks like a decaying and much thicker version (I notice these things) of Solstice but making a mistake and getting them into a hell of a position, that position being falling off of an icy mountain. One thing I like is Bart is still smart, we clearly saw that he does retain information he's read like pre-reboot Bart Allen. From there we see Cassie attacking Thrice in a hospital and looking for answers about who hired him to attack Skitter and Red Robin. We also see a young man that's from Mexico but in America on business and seemingly loves the land of the free. He hops onto a passing train and stumbles upon a giant cocoon as well as a vagrant that he also meets, and after talking for a bit the vagrant attacks. It turns out that the vagrant is none other than Red Robin in disguise (That was a good one...) and attacks, as he believes this young man is working for NOWHERE. The guy apparently set out for America to find Red Robin, as he's a big fan, and wants to join his team. He introduces himself as Miguel Jose Barragan, Codename Bunker. The train they are on stops soon after the introduction and they see a bunch of people that look mind-controlled coming towards the Teen heroes. Red Robin goes off to find out who is controlling them and finds a hunk of metal calling himself Detrius, but before he can be stopped, he mind controls Red Robin to return and forget about their encounter, and Red Robin does. Well alright, I guess they guy will show up later. As Red Robin returns he meets up with Bunker as we see Skitter is now back in her human form and wondering where she is and how she got there. Back with Solstice and Kid Flash, she manages to fly them to safety before passing out, and we see the two teens are in the middle of nowhere, and just as it seems things can't get worse, they're in the middle of a blizzard. Well, like the other three comics in this post, this was another good issue and a fun read. I like that the team has a deep pool so far, it seems to consist of Red Robin, Cassie, Kid Flash, Solstice, Skitter, Bunker, and we haven't even seen Superboy join yet which may be the next issue since it suggested they'd take on SB. One thing I want to do is compliment the are of Brett Booth who is doing an amazing job, from the big things to the small things like strands of hair, he's quickly becoming one of my favorite artists. I'll give this issue of Teen Titans an 8/10 rating.

Red Robin: A little advice. Don't reveal your entire backstory on meeting someone. It just makes it easier to defeat you.

And just like that, that's it for this week's Ratings and Rantings. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment and let me know what you think. That's it for me, until next time I'm your friendly neighborhood blogger-man, Jason Todd, signing off!

Last week's poll asked "How do you feel about the Walking Dead?"
Last place with 9.1% - Tie between I read the books and I do neither but I want to.
Third place with 18.2% - I'm not interested at all. 
Second place with 27.3% - I watch the TV Show and read the books. 
Winner with 36.4% - I watch the TV Show.

Next Week on Ratings and Rantings

Justice League International #4, Amazing Spider-Man #675, Deadpool #47, and Venom #10

Ratings and Rantings featuring Teen Titans #1

Hey Todd Squad, J.T. here with that weekly column you love to read, Ratings and Rantings! We're concluding our week of reboots while tackling the Teen Titans, Two Spider-Men, a Man of Steel, and so much more. As well as checking in with one of the closest polls we've had in a while here at JTCS. So let's get things started with a team of super powered teenagers known as the Teen Titans!

Teen Titans #1

I really liked Scott Lobdell's work on Superboy and Red Hood and the Outlaws this month so I'm hoping he can make it three for three with the Teen Titans. We start things off with a building on fire, but much less interesting than you'd think since all there's no one trapped inside. Kid Flash shows up, and seems more like Impulse which is fun, as he's trying to help and make an impact on television for his "adoring fans". When Kid Flash runs inside and throws a door open, he causes a back-draft that blows both the building and Kid Flash away. The firemen are all safe, as Kid Flash lays in the grass, barley conscious with a burned up costume. Meanwhile, the news reports that a metahuman took a small controlled fire and turned it into a roaring inferno in seconds. We then cut over to Tim Drake, former Robin and current Red Robin, keeping up with the news of a ton of incidents that have been caused by super powered teens, as we see Kid Flash, Static, Raven and Miss Martian. Interesting note is they say a spokesman for the Justice League says Kid Flash has no ties with The Flash, hm... Surprisingly, Tim is not alone, as we see a few masked people with guns sneak up behind him and hold Tim at gunpoint, while their supposed leader mentions that Tim has been blogging information about the group. Tim says that he's aware they've been kidnapping super powered teenagers, and after being offered a job which Tim denies, he tells the members of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. that they'd best head for the hills, because his room was rigged with explosives that would detonate in eleven seconds. The cowardly gang run while Tim jumps out of the window before deploying his wings and jets and flying off as Red Robin. He mentions that he's tried to work in the shadows since his time as Robin but now he realizes he'll need help, before heading out to gather a team. We then see Cassie Sandsmark driving a car she clearly stole when she is pulled over by a police officer. It turns out the officer is actually an agent for N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and tries to strangle a surprised Cassie before the agent is knocked out from behind by Red Robin, good timing right? He introduces himself to Cass and explains the deal with NOWHERE (I'm done adding the periods for that acronym.) but Cassie denies that she has powers. That is until a giant helicopter comes down and opens fire on the two, Red Robin is protected by his wings which are apparently bullet proof, which causes Cassie to power up, and she apparently HATES being called Wonder Girl. The super powered femme fatale makes quick work of the gunner before telling Red Robin now that these people know her identity her life will never be the same again. On the other side of the world, we see something we saw a bit earlier in Superboy #1, as NOWHERE releases Superboy to go after the Teen Titans as this issue ends. Well this was interesting, I hated how they went from one second of Tim in his room to just thrusting us into this NOWHERE thing, but I did like how well Tim was written. Tim and Bart (?) came off sounding like Tim and Bart, and I like Cassie as she's written powerful but apparently still wishes to have her normal life as well as her hero life separate. I'd give this first issue of Titans a 7/10, nothing amazing but I'll definitely stick around for the ride.

Cassie: I'm serious Red... DON'T call me Wonder Girl.

Ultimate Spider-Man #2

HA! We start things off with Miles running down the street top speed, and overhear a guy saying "so I said to the guy: You never read the book yet you go online and talk about it as if.." Nice inside joke by Bendis for all the Miles haters. Anyway Miles jumps over the guy and his co-worker that are moving a giant TV, which of course draws a crowd. Miles runs away, obviously feeling weird as people proclaim him a mutant. Miles waits for a bit, still stunned, before walking home. On the way home, Miles is about to be robbed by some delinquents, but when one of them grabs him, he touches them and they get zapped. Well alright then, apparently one of his powers is electricity based, as he zaps the guy again and knocks him out, before running away as the robber's friends once again call Miles a mutant. Miles then runs to tell his best friend, because there's always the obligatory best friend that must know when a teenager gets powers. Static Shock anyone? Miles tells his buddy Ganke to watch as he tries to turn invisible, but he can't do it for some reason. Maybe he's like Kel Mitchell in "Mystery Men" and can only turn invisible when no one's looking. Next he tries to show Ganke his electric powers, which he successfully does, and once Ganke turns his back, Miles turns invisible as well. Ganke is amazed by this new powerful, invisible Miles and tells him how great it is that a spider turned him into a mutant, but Miles isn't happy about it. His father then shows up at Ganke's house and takes Miles with him, he tells Miles that he has to stay away from his Uncle Aaron because he's a thief and Miles shouldn't be around that. He then mentions that both Miles' father and his Uncle Aaron had been to jail prior to Miles' birth, but he's turned his life around and that he's tried to make good choices every day since then. This was basically the Great Power speech but worded different and from a different man, but it had the same effect and came off very well. He then tells Miles that he can tell him anything, and before Miles can tell him about his powers, The Human Torch and Iceman fly by, which prompts Miles' dad to say how the mutants should all just leave New York alone. Smooth move, jackass. Later that night, Miles is awoken by a text from Ganke that says that Spider-Man was bitten by a spider, and links to an interview that Ben Urich did saying how Spidey got his powers, he also mentions that Miles has chameleon like powers like some spiders do and he has a venom strike like some spiders, before asking if Miles is Spider-Man. The issue ends as Miles climbs the wall and realizes that he does indeed have spider powers. I enjoyed this issue, I love finding out about characters and Miles discovering his powers, the was no action but there was a lot of well written dialogue and storytelling. I'd give this issue a 8.5/10.

Miles: Prepare to be freaked out like you've never been freaked out, before.

Ganke: Please don't take off your pants. (Best...friend...duo...ever.)

 Superman #1

We kick things off with the announcement of a new Daily Planet, a building that is more futuristic than it's past self, but more importantly it's bigger than hell and it's owned by the new boss of the Daily Planet, Morgan Edge. Meanwhile, Superman is seen floating above the debris of the old Daily Planet building, seemingly paying his respects before flying away after being seen by Jimmy Olsen. It was around this time that I tried to continue on and saw such things as guys wearing the clown masks from The Dark Knight movie, Superman/Clark Kent saying "Bull!", and some big weird alien blowing a horn like Satchmo and so many text bubbles it would make Brian Michael Bendis go crazy! Well, that's it, I'm done. No more Superman for me in this reboot, N/A!

Bendis: Damn, that's a crap load of speech bubbles!

Venom #7

Another awesome cover in the Venom series! Venom may be my favorite new series since Bryan Q. Miller's Batgirl started two years ago. We start things off with the former Venom and current Anti-Venom Eddie Brock, in a church healing a bunch of people that are turning into giant spiders due to the events of Spider-Island. Once The Queen finds out about Brock curing people, she sends the Spider-King to go kill him, unaware that he's actually Agent Venom, Flash Thompson, in disguise. Flash sends this info to his superiors, who then alert Reed Richards that the cure lies in the blood of Eddie Brock, so they all send someone to get Brock so they can synthesize a cure. Flash heads over to the church, while talking to Betty on the phone. She reminds Flash that his dad doesn't have long to go on this Earth and if he doesn't make amends before he dies, Flash will regret it forever, so Flash assures her he's on the way. Once Flash arrives at the church, he says the Symbiote reacts to seeing Eddie, and feels jilted but assures Flash that they are a better team. Flash intends to shoot Anti-Venom with a tranquilizer and move him to Horizon labs for tests when suddenly Brock attacks him. Anti-Venom tries to cure Venom, saying the symbiote is a cancerous demon sent from hell. After a fight and conversation, Flash realizes Brock is right, and the symbiote has slowly changed him. Suddenly the symbiote jumps off of Flash and onto Brock, as he's been weakened from healing people. Brock tries desperately to remove the symbiote from himself before it reunites them as Venom, but he fails. Flash claims he doesn't want the symbiote now, but he needs it to save the city because if it stays on Brock it would wipe out his anti-bodies. He tells the symbiote he needs it and that Eddie will always reject him, and the symbiote agrees and binds back with Flash. Later, a webbed up Anti-Venom is left at Horizon Labs, where Richards says he's going to help the city whether he likes it or not, but Eddie says he's happy to help. He mentions how Venom never asked him to help and that Venom is no good guy. Over at the hospital, Flash finally see's his dad, and his dad apologizes for always letting Flash and his family down and asks for his forgiveness. Flash tells his dad he wouldn't trade him for any other dad and that he loves him, and Flash's father passes away as this issue comes to a close. I enjoyed this a lot, especially the symbiote wanting Brock, and clearly alluding to another Venom vs. Anti-Venom fight that's far from over. The stuff with Flash's dad was pretty quickly touched upon but I enjoyed it all, and had no complaints. I'd give this issue a 9/10 rating as I frantically wait to see those two face off again.

Anti-Venom: Everything you've done since putting on that suit has been the symbiote's decision. Everything.

The Amazing Spider-Man #670

We start off seeing a bunch of people around the city like Randy Robertson and Hawkeye turning into giant spiders. Meanwhile, Mary Jane is being chased by giant spiders and Spidey is too busy trying to remember which giant spider was Carlie. On the other side of town, we see the spiders are all heading to see The Queen, Adriana Soria, a woman that apparently has spider powers and super soldier powers. We get a quick recap on her past, and that she apparently used to date Steve "Captain America" Rogers. We see that he stumbled upon her hiding spot not too long ago and she knocked him out, considering they are both super soldiers, which led to Steve being one of the first test subjects, and now being a giant brute of a man-spider known as The Spider-King. Unbeknownst to her, the Spider-King has been replaced by Flash "Venom" Thompson, using his camouflage powers. We then see a glimpse over at the church to see Anti-Venom healing people, as I touched upon in the last comic review. As Jameson and his motorcade leave Horizon Labs, they're attacked by giant spiders, so Spidey goes to help, and he gets some unexpected assistance from the Sensational Spider-Mayor. Meanwhile, The Queen realizes she has the Mayor infected and could use this to her advantage, but before Flash can do anything about it, she sends him to go kill Anti-Venom, which we also already heard about via the last review. Back with Spidey and Jameson, they head over to conduct Jonah's plan, where he questions The Spider-Slayer, Alistair Smythe, the man that murdered Jameson's wife. He asks him how to stop the spiders but Smythe is in no mood to help Jameson, and even calls him the Black Widower. It's during this time that The Queen gets into Jameson's had and makes him angry using memories of his former wife Marla, to turn Jameson into a giant spider. We then jump around and see Anti-Venom fighting Venom, the Heroes for Hire protecting a tower from spiders, and Mary Jane saving herself as she finally develops spider powers. Over at Horizon Labs, Anti-Venom tells Reed he's happy to help, but Reed says they'll need every antibody in his suit, and he'll have to give up being Anti-Venom! Back with Spidey, he's frantically trying to hold Jameson back, and a freaked out Smythe says he'll spill the info and is about to tell them how to stop the spider infection when suddenly Jameson bites his neck and seemingly kills him as this issue comes to a close. Man, this was a crazy issue, it was pretty action packed but it jumped around so much it seemed clunky and slows down at parts that I was really getting drawn into the story at. I'd give this issue of Spider-Man a 8/10 rating.

J. Jonah Jameson: You can't do anything, can you?! We should just call you Mr. Can't-Tastic!
(Okay... that was genius.)

Kick Ass 2 #4

Mother Russia is one big chick. We kick things off with Hit-Girl talking about how boring her life has been up until seeing the news story that a New York City hero was killed by the returning Red Mist, now known as The Motherfucker. Mindy wants to go take care of him, but Marcus tells her she's an eleven-year-old child and this doesn't concern her, before sending her to her room. Meanwhile, Kick-Ass and the other heroes meet at a diner and try to decide what to do next, especially since the villains say that this is only the beginning. It only gets worse as The Motherfucker and a few of his cronies decide to pay Kick-Ass' girlfriend or ex-girlfriend or whatever she is to him, Katie Deuxma, a visit. While looking for her, MF opens fire and kills a bunch of kids and civilians. They bust into Katie's house and MF shoots her dad point-blank in the head, punches Katie in the mouth then rapes Katie. Well damn, I know he's evil but killing kids and raping women?! Outside the cops arrive but their all dealt with by Mother Russia and a very powerful gun. After taking off, we see at the police station that reports show that twenty-seven people were killed and over eighty injured. Man, that's insane. We then see that they've traced the IP addresses of the twitter and facebook accounts and plan on hitting the houses with five hundred men, but Kick-Ass' name is also on the list, showing they're going after the heroes and villains. They then arrest a bunch of people, including heroes, and when they come to Dave's house, they arrest his father since he claims he's Kick-Ass. Well that's a good dad. As Dave and his  friends all stand over an unconscious Katie in the hospital, Dave feels remorse that she was attacked because of him, when he gets a text from MF that says he should be worried about his dad, and Dave rushes home. Dave arrives home to see his dad arrested on his behalf as the issue comes to a close. Man, this issue was insane. It moved so quick, MF and his team are insane and you gotta wonder what Hit-Girl can do to join the fight and how Kick-Ass and his crew will strike back. I'd give this issue a 9/10 rating and I hope the next issue comes out soon.

Hit-Girl: We need to hunt this fucker down and make him wish his dad had finished on his mother's tits.

And just like that, this week's R&R comes to a close. I enjoyed most of my issues this week and I'm always interested in what you guys think. Before I get out of here I want to remind you to vote on this week's newest poll as well as check out the results of last week's extremely close poll. Well that's it for me everyone, until next time, I'm your friendly neighborhood Blogger-Man, Jason Todd, signing off!

Last week's poll asked "Following the events of Schism so far, who would you side with?"

Last place with 27.3% - Team Cyclops and "I didn't read Schism."
Winner with 45.5% - Team Wolverine (It was tied yesterday!)

Next Week on Ratings and Rantings

Animal Man #2, Detective Comics #2, Justice League International #2, Deadpool #44, Invincible #83, and X-Men: Schism #5!

Rantings and Rantings featuring Justice League #1

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages, it's time once again for that weekly cavalcade of comic reviews and rantings, brought to you by one half of the blogging tagteam champions of the woooooorld, yours truly, Jason Todd. So, here we are, officially apart of the DCnU, everything's changed, some for the better, some possibly for the worse, only time will tell. FYI, I bumped Amazing Spider-MAn #668 to next week so I could get this review up asap for all you Justice League fans. So since time is of the essence, let's get to what may be one of the most anticipated comic books of the year, but before we get to JLA, let's tie up a few loose ends from last week's review.

Superman Beyond #0

We start things off with Superman barely being able to keep the peace on an alien planet where a battle has broken out, but he's able to stop the planet from being invaded by the attackers. After helping the aliens, Superman decides it may be time to return home for the first time in a year, since helping Batman Beyond, Terry McGinnis, defeat Lex Luthor in the Superman/Batman Annual #4. We then see the Justice League trying to get Batman to come help out with Metropolis but he says he's busy enough with Gotham. We then see a prisoner named Mangler, and after his wife tells him she's not bringing their daughter to see him in prison anymore, and he seems defeated since he's been trying to get good behavior points to get out early, but she sticks by her guns and walks out on him. Later on, during a bit of a prison scuffle, a guard shoots some liquid that falls on the Mangler and of course makes him into a powerful villain. We then see Clark Kent on Earth, planting flowers at his parents and Lois' graves before meeting with a very old Jimmy Olsen who offers him a job as a reporter now that Jimmy is a media mogul. Meanwhile, Mangler uses his new powers to beat the hell of the joke that is the Justice League, with his Sandman-like powers. Superman makes the save but it doesn't take long until the Man of Steel is taking a beating due to his old age and the fact he's slowly grown weaker since his days on top. Once he momentarily despises of Supes, Mangler goes to see his daughter, but upon seeing what her dad has become she screams, obviously afraid, which breaks Mangler's heart. He then tells Superman to do his job and protect her from monsters like him, or he's going to destroy Metropolis. Superman throws everything at him but runs out of options so uses his speed to make a tornado and suck Mangler into space to knock him out, but once up there, with his last breaths Mangler manages to turn his arm into a spike and stick it through Superman. Well damn... as Supes realizes he doesn't have much time left, he selflessly grabs Mangler and takes him back to Earth so he doesn't suffocate in space, and takes the brunt of the fall as well. As Superman slowly dies, Mangler repeatedly asks why he would save him after he killed Superman, Barda checks on him and it appears Superman is still alive as his wounds slowly heal. They ask him to join the Justice League and he accepts, and the issue ends as we see an old Clark and Bruce share a moment like only Superman and Batman can. This was a good issue, but to be honest I think it would've been more impactful is they killed off Supes here. I mean with the reboot it's not like it matters, and Supes saving someone that killed him is like the epitome of something he'd do, which could lead to Mangler becoming a good guy to try to make that up to Superman and society. But maybe they wanted him around for more Batman Beyond stories. Either way, it was a fine issue that I had no problems with, I'd give it a 6/10.

Superman: Maybe tomorrow has finally arrived for the so-called Man of Tomorrow. Maybe I'm just too old to play hero.

Kick-Ass 2 #3

We start things off with Kick-Ass and his ragtag team of jabroni's questioning the criminal they caught, asking him where the girls he has working as prostitutes are. He says upstairs, so Kick-Ass goes to investigate wit two other heroes. They free the girls and give the the fifty-grand the criminals had so they can go start new lives. Afterwards, the heroes leave and let Kick-Ass in on the tidbit that they carry empty guns to scare the criminals, which Kick-Ass thinks is pretty awesome. We also see they don't just fight crime, but these heroes also pass out missing persons flyers, volunteer at soup kitchens, and of course influenced more people to become street heroes. And eventually, Kick-Ass decided to have his friend Todd join since he was the odd man out, but the person Dave really wants is Hit-Girl, but she continues to turn him down since she made a promise she was done fighting crime. Dave doesn't let up but when Mindy walks outside and see's Marcus, she runs to the car, as Marcus stares at Dave, clearly aware that he's Kick-Ass. When Dave arrives home he walks into his room to find his dad holding his Kick-Ass costume. His dad says he was worried because he thought Dave was on drugs but this is worse, and he's found his boots, sticks and the newspaper clippings he's saved. Dave says he's a hero and he's proud of what he's done, before snatching his costume from his dad and running out of the door. Over at the Justice Forever Headquarters, Colonel Stars is attacked and shot through the stomach by a huge woman named Mother Russia, the new bodyguard of the Red Mist. He orders her and his guards to tear the base apart and to leave a message for the other heroes. We then see the Colonel dead, duct-taped to a chair with his head gone and his dogs Sofia's head in place of his (gruesome) and the words "The Red Mist is Dead, Long live The Motherucker." The issue ends as the news of the dead hero found in a basement is seen by Mindy, which seems to incite the rage of the former Hit-Girl. Man this was a good issue, it started a bit slow but Dave's secret being found by his dad, the return of the former Red Mist and that gruesome scene made this a really good issue, I'd give it a 9/10 rating.

Marty: Those trunks are so tight I can make out individual pubic hairs.

Justice League #1

We start things off in the past, five years ago to be exact as we see Batman pursuing a criminal, while also dodging the GCPD. Batman manages to catch the person he's pursuing when suddenly the villain is blasted by a green firetruck, courtesy of Green Lantern Hal Jordan, who seems shocked that Batman is real. When the GCPD shoots at both GL and Bats, Hal throws up a shield, but while they focus on the GCPD, Bats and GL are attacked by the mystery villain. The villain blasts down a helicopter but Hal makes the save while informing Bats that he was sent there due to an extra-terrestrial sighting. Bats tells GL to go back to Coast City but he sticks around, and is shocked to learn Batman has no powers and is just a man in a bat costume. Batman somehow manages to take GL's ring and then returns it once he realizes it's the source of Lantern's power. The two start to get into a scuffle when Batman notices the alien planting a bomb. Hal tries to stop the alien but he yells "for Darkseid" before the alien explodes in the sewers of Gotham, as Hal protects himself and Batman with a box he constructs. Batman and GL then investigate the alleged bomb the alien left behind, and GL figures it may be connected to Superman since he's an alien, so the two go to confront the Man of Tomorrow. We then jump over to see Vic Stone playing football as he's apparently a highly scouted player, but when he scores a touchdown and looks in the crowd and see's his Dad isn't there he's pretty disappointed. Aww, poor Cyborg. Back with GL and Bats, they arrive in Metropolis right outside of where Superman is. Bats tells GL there was obviously a scuffle here and to take this tactfully but the ever cocky Hal Jordan decides he's going to go restrain Superman and question him, and half a second later he's flying across the sky from a red-blue-blur punch. The issue ends soon after with Superman staring at Batman asking what can he do. Well this issue kinda flew by, we didn't learn much... I mean literally. We saw Bats meet GL, we saw Bats meet Supes, we saw Hal get "one-punch!'d" by Superman and we saw Vic play football. It wasn't a bad issue but I expected more from this first issue since DC only dropped two issues this week, but on the plus side, Jim Lee's art was pretty damn good! I'll give this issue a 7.5/10 rating.

Green Lantern: You really want to pick a fight with someone who can create anything he can think of?

Batman: I'd be worried if I thought you could think.

And just like that, three comics have come and gone. Welcome to the DCnU, and the next month should be exciting with more DCnU comics, more Schism and Spider-Island from Marvel, and hopefully more Morning Glories and Invincible. Here's hoping you guys enjoyed this review and feel free to let me know what you guys think. But that's it for me, I'm your friendly neighborhood Blogger-Man, Jason Todd, signing off!

Next Week on Ratings and Rantings

Action Comics #1, Batgirl #1, Justice League International #1, Static Shock #1, Invincible #82, Morning Glories #12 and Amazing Spider-Man #668